At ten, or maybe twelve, sometime around then,
we
discovered that the world was not coming to an end
as
perhaps we expected, despite the cold war with Russia
with
one finger on “the button” to annihilate us many times over,
even
as our own finger was on “the button” on this side,
many
times over, annihilation by mushroom cloud;
and
despite the “drills” to protect ourselves from “the bomb,”
little
human balls crouched and tucked under our desks,
or
body to body in rows and columns in the hallways, our hands
clasped
over our little heads, or maybe a bomb shelter in the backyard,
whatever
good it would do; and despite the hot war brought
into
our living rooms, black and white images of destruction and death,
weapons
rattling and bombs raining down, and bodies, our bodies,
carried
on stretchers to waiting choppers, despite the growing
list
of casualties, POWs, MIAs, grieving families, young men awaiting
the
draft, their number to come up, looking for deferments, a way out,
making
plans to go to Canada, anywhere, remembering friends
returned
in flag draped caskets or missing limbs, more than limbs,
these
living dead bearing the scars and nightmares of time spent
in
Southeast Asia’s hell, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, young people
returning
with their demons, awaiting retribution, salvation,
and
the peace that comes with death, penance paid; and despite
the
revolution, the demonstrations against “the man,” the war,
injustice,
our civil rights taken, individual freedoms withheld, beaten
and
jailed, singing our protests songs, still sung, still blowing in the wind,
the
flowers still gone; “oh say, can you see,” when we couldn’t see, can’t see,
not
clearly, even now, wondering still if the promises of peace and community,
harmony
and understanding, one humanity, are ever going to be fulfilled,
equality,
justice, freedom, democracy; and today, grown older,
not
too old to forget being ten or twelve, every age since, and still
not
seeing an end nor even a new beginning, a new world coming,
a
new voice, a new morning, clear and sweet and free, coming in peace:
where
have all the flowers gone? long time passing? long time ago?
Gone,
now, perhaps the way of childhood, innocence taken, innocence lost;
and
still the question, when will we ever learn? When will we ever
learn!
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